OK, that title is an obvious reference to the Internet hype about not missing the first 5 minutes of TNA last night, posted all over, from the TNA website to every nickle & dime “news” board. So like just about every wrestling fan, I tuned in (Not to mention recorded) just in case the hype matched the action. And despite what I am reading from fanboys around the Net, I am here to tell you – it didn’t. I can tell they tried – but like a poor marksman, they missed the target again and again.
From the get go, it was as predictable as old-school WCW. Of course, what would we expect? Despite Uncle Eric learning a trick or two from his time up North, his motto has been & always will be “Controversy Creates Cash” – the problem IS, to create Controversy you need to be unpredictable, fresh and above all, topical. Instead, it’s not any of those – and frankly Eric, I expected more from the first show.
The opening match – while filled with “big” names and potential – was nothing more than a late 90s WCW closer, Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan in the ring, as they did so much back then. To make it appear to have relevance, we had AJ Styles and Abyss thrown in, two ‘proteges’ of the “big” names who one can only assume were there to receive the Torch of this classic match-up. Sadly from the start it was nothing more than filler, and it showed. Hogan was obviously reading from either cue cards or a teleprompter (Something that would NEVER have been needed once upon time), and he looked nervous to boot. I can understand why – this night was vital. But as a loyal Hulkamaniac for close to 3 decades, seeing the Hulkster in that state was saddening. He’s not the man he once was, and while he’s STILL the Hulkster – something is missing, and that something is enough to make a fan cry.
Our hero has gotten old.
So, the match starts and we see the typical action from these 4 warriors. From the start, I just knew this would be a no-contest – and once Sting was in the ring, it all solidified. Sting would attack hulk and Abyss. This was obvious – far TOO obvious, because not a single fan they showed on screen seemed to show any surprise at what happened. We then of course get served the usual post match bravado, except THIS time it included making the match finish later in the evening.
At least something was saved via the Sting pushing Dixie incident. This is so unlike Sting that it DID catch my attention. But that was overshadowed by Brooke Hogan crying in the back with Hulk’s squeeze Jennifer – and frankly, Brooke’s words mirror my sentiment – I hate seeing the Hulk do this to himself. Now we get TWO people destroying their legacies of greatness, Flair and Hogan. And that my readers is a damn shame.
Happily though, TNA’s one factor that DOES set it apart from WWE programming seems to be getting a much needed push. Face it, the WWE doesn’t do Cruiserweight (or hardcore for that matter) division matches well (If at all), and the X Division fills that need for wrestling fans around the world. And on this night, getting the (semi) unexpected push made sense. THIS would have been a far better opener, lending creed to the “first 5 minute” hype far better that what we DID get. And best part was Shannon Moore coming back WITHOUT the (to me) silly Prince of Punk gimmick. I met Shannon a LONG time ago in his WCW days, and this is a guy who deserves more than he has gotten in the long run, being overshadowed by the likes of Evan Karagias and Shane Helms. Hopefully this time around he gets it.
Then we get a Knockout tag Team match. Sorry to say, standard fare here – although I have to go out of my way to point out that the Knockouts FAR outstrip the Divas in ability, so it’s important to keep an eye on more than the rear ends of the Beautiful People. Best part? Apparently the Beautiful People will be able to compete using Freebird Rules, so we may see this heat up in more than the sex appeal department.
As ‘punishment’ for putting his hands on Dixie Carter earlier, Sting comes out next for his match against his mystery opponent who turns out to be Rob Van Dam. What happens next is a disservice to Sting primarily, and the fans (Although the crowd seemed to love it). This deserved a match and not a quick 1-2-3, and the beatdown of RVD immediately after ruined the entire thing. Chris Jericho on his Twitter says it best: “The beat down of RVD 20 seconds into his debut in TNA was mind boggling. I dont understand how so many talented people can be so clueless.” This is true on many levels – mostly because WHY would they derail RVD coming back to Sports Entertainment? This IS an event by itself, and introducing him JUST so Sting could beat up Hogan more is beyond me. It’s either lazy booking or narcissism at it’s worst. Time will tell which it is.
Filler time. Does ANYONE care about the Nash situation with Hall and Syxx-Pac? On top of that, does ANYONE believe that the Nash/Young vs Hall/Pac match at Destination X will be anything other than a screwjob against Young? I hope I’m wrong. I *pray* I’m wrong. But when you look at their “managing” to get in SOMEHOW week after week despite being barred, it is too obvious. Then with Uncle Eric offering “Phat Contracts”, it solidifies what’s coming. Do I need to mention Nash and Hall shaking hands and staying out of Pac and Young fighting?
Nice entrance for Kurt Angle up next. I wish someone would have drilled those “Soldiers” though. Parade Rest is basic guys, even a baboon can do it right… I have to say though, this work with Ken Anderson doesn’t ring “true” to me – he’s out of character in a way, and I’m certain that’s holding back the talent we all know he has on the mic.
Can we PLEASE get rid of Bubba the waste of Radio airwaves – and moreso, Television airtime?
Double J (haha) comes out next, match with Beer Money. Talk about giving James his start, etc.. We get it. Double J (haha) is old TNA, blah blah, this is the new TNA, blah blah. Foley is helping his friend but failing. I’m sorry to say it Jeff – you’ve lost relevance in what you started. Sure, it’s all storylines, but frankly – the show at this point is better off without you there, at least in my opinion.
OK, now the opener is now the close of the show. Lots of blood sends the message to the WWE “hey, WE aren’t PG.” Anyone else notice the symbolism here? The old guard bleeding & slow while the new(er) guys are moving at a frenetic pace? Old guard fighting outside the ring, new(er) inside? I have to say though, STILL nobody does the Crimson mask like Flair. With Jeff Hardy (Who I STILL hope isn’t making a mistake here by choosing TNA) saving the day, the picture is complete.
One thing about Hardy. I feel I should explain my position. Yes, TNA is a better fit for him, and yes he enjoyed a unique position there. But let’s face it, TNA *never* put the Championship on him while the WWE did. He deserves that type of recognition – will TNA squander him again, or will they do the best thing possible & put the Strap on him?
Now, it MAY seem strange that I talk about TNA exclusively here, with little mention about what the WWE presented to oppose them. There’s a simple reason – I made my thoughts about that known in my column on March 3rd. The WWE didn’t feel the need to compete the first week, wisely saving their move for next week against a Taped TNA. For those who may not remember, that is how WCW took down RAW in the beginning, by going Live against a (then) taped product. With Stone Cold hosting next week, Vince shows that he DID learn from what WCW did in the past, making his move where the opponent is weak.
Simply put – TNA needs to REALLY step up, by either taking the Impact show Live 100% every week, or by clamping down HARD on internet reporting. If not, Vince & Company will know in advance how to counter your every “surprise” on Taped weeks. And TNA – Vince does that better than anyone else in the business today.
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